I was sitting in a Tribeca cafe when a guy walked in the door, caught my eye, and strode over.
“Well, well, well, Gloria,” he began, his voice shaking with anger. “Look what the cat dragged in. I knew you’d eventually get thrown my way. And what the hell did you think would happen when I got that notice from your nutjob ass-hat lawyer? Did you think that low-rent slimeball could scare me into more dough?”
He went on for a few more loud, obscenity-laced minutes, while the writer in me sat riveted, musing, “God, I miss New York!”
Soon the nearby tables were listening and watching as I silently took off my sunglasses to reveal that no, actually I wasn’t the guy’s long-detested ex-wife.
Just a really, really close proxy.
He was so rattled he backed out the door as if he’d seen a ghost.
“Christ, you even dress like her,” he mumbled as he left, staring at the floor. “Even the damn Mephisto sandals. Hey sorry, lady. Really sorry.”
This guy was such a great lesson. He’d been almost entertaining since his rant had nothing to do with ‘me.’ Nothing personal.
But isn’t a lot of anger that way? Someone might really be screaming without knowing it about that time they were left in the shopping cart at Safeway when they were three.
I once felt ‘venom at first sight’ from another guy in a spiritual group where I belonged. Somehow the minute we met it kicked in for him.
One night I longed to pray for the poor guy, figuring he could use some help. He didn’t exactly seem like the happiest person. Anyway, I had nothing to lose. I lit a green candle and sent him love and joy almost nightly.
About a month later he lumbered up. He half-growled, “Hey, I gotta tell ya. You used to bug the crap out of me. And now I’m mad cuz I’m not mad. I don’t know what the heck you’re doin’ but I don’t hate ya.” And he walked away.
We never spoke again, but that was enough.
Sometimes the people with the most anger need the most help. You never know what sending them blessings may do. You might be the only one on the planet winging good their way.
You never know.